The Talk
by m7thewriter
Summary: A short 3-4 chapter story based from Beckett's secret coming out in 47 second's episode, Castle's murder board secret will also come to light.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N - **Just a short story I decided to write around Kate's secret coming out in 47 second's episode, Castle's murder board secret will also come to light later in this story. This will only be a 3-4 chapter story. I'm still writing my other story Into The Woods as well. On another note anyone else out there feeling a bit let down with 'The Limey' episode? It just seems things are going backwards at the moment between Beckett and Castle.

**Disclaimer - **I don't own Castle, in fact I own nothing, literally nothing!

Updated 17/04/12 - Correction of a few spelling mistakes.

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><p>"I really don't know whats changed, he just seems to be acting so distant around me lately" Kate poured them both another glass of Merlot, there appeared to be just enough red liquid remaining in the bottle to fill both glasses.<p>

"His attitude towards me, Javier and Ryan seems to be unchanged, from what I've seen he has looked a bit different of late, I figured that the bombing case had just taken it's toll on him though" Lanie paused as she took a sip from her newly topped up glass. As her eyes scanned the kitchen counter, she couldn't help but notice the other two empty bottles that stood there. Her friend was clearly in need of her support tonight.

"I just don't understand why he's backed off so much all of the sudden. I thought we'd been getting closer, making progress" Kate looked toward Lanie as she spoke, hoping that her friends wisdom on matters of the heart could help her.

Seeing the pleading look for help that Kate was giving her sent a pain to Lanie's heart, this only gave her an added determination to help solve the puzzle of the Beckett/Castle relationship saga. This time round she was going to have to play the role of the detective, so taking in a breath she began "Ok, lets get to the bottom of this then, somethings clearly got Castle upset, and as your the one he's giving the cold shoulder to, I think it would be safe to assume its something you've done"

Lanie paused for a second to allow Kate to take in that last part before she continued her inquest.

"He's already waited four years for you, so to just stop waiting now doesn't make any sense to me. Can you think of anything that you've done that he could be mad about?" Laine watched as Kate tipped her head back looking up at the celling while trying to recall anything that might have happened.

"I don't think so, I haven't done anything I can think of" She'd thought hard about it, but came up with nothing,

"Well you did shut him out of your life last summer" As soon as the words were out of her mouth Lanie closed her eyes regretting her comment immediately. The filter between her brain and mouth had just let it slip out, Kate was surely feeling bad enough without her adding remarks like this. An apology was certainly in order. "I'm sorry that was uncalled for"

"Its ok...I probably deserved that, pushing Castle away in the summer wasn't a good thing to do, it's about time I faced that truth" Lanie's words had initially stunned her, but she knew that it was about time she accepted that she was wrong about how she handled things in the months after her shooting.

"Anyway before Castle came back to the precinct we had a talk, I explained some things to him and though he'd been mad at the time he seemed ok afterwards. Within a couple of cases we were back to normal, probably even closer than before. And he's never brought it up again, so I doubt it's because of that" By now the contents of Kate's glass had been reduced to half full as she'd been drowning her sorrows.

"Alright, so now we can rule out him being mad about the summer, so exactly when did you notice him acting strange toward you?" Lanie questioned cautiously, keeping her voice soft to try and keep Kate relaxed.

"A few weeks ago" Kate said weakly

"Around the time of the bombing case" Lanie confirmed

"Actually now I think about it, it wasn't around the time of that case, it was during it" Given the intensity of the case Kate had never really thought back to that day until now.

"During it? You both seemed normal when you were checking up on me in the morgue" Lanie cast her mind back trying to remember anything out of the ordinary between the 'couple' when she spoke to them.

"I know he seemed fine then at the start of the case, but later on when we were interrogating Liane West he seemed, different, saying things during the interrogation almost to himself rather than to the suspect" Kate thought back trying to remember his exact words, something about being cowardly was all she could remember. Before she could think on it too much Lanie interrupted.

"Now we're getting somewhere, so did you two argue about anything in the time since seeing me and interrogating the Liane West?" Lanie felt they making good progress.

"No, nothing" Kate thought back and honestly didn't remember them arguing or fighting about anything.

"Well there must have been something to trigger his change in attitude" Lanie once again studied Kate for a reaction. After seeing Kate shake her head slightly to indicate no other ideas she pressed on further.

"Ok, well at least we have a time frame from when he was 'normal' to when he started acting strangely, we just need to recreate exactly what you did during that window. Why don't you tell me what you remember" More confidence was filling Lanie's voice with each question she now asked, something that Kate also picked up on.

"I thought you were a medical examiner, not a detective" She threw Lanie a half smile, secretly impressed with her questioning skills and the way she was conducting her 'investigation'.

"Well I've picked up a lot from you over the years" She was relieved to see even a small smile on Kate's face.

"Now getting back on track, what do you remember?"

"Ok, let me think, I was at my desk and Castle came over bringing me a coffee, he said he'd been thinking about the victims and opportunities, but Ryan interrupted before he finished" Kate sighed still wondering what it was that he'd been wanting to say

"I swear he has the worst timing possible" Lanie made a mental note to have words with Ryan next time she saw him.

"Anyway after that we followed a few more leads on the case and he seemed fine the whole day, Gate's gave him a stack of interview files to review and that was the last I saw of him for the day" Kate was sounding a little better than before now that she was concentrating on trying to work out what the catalyst for Castle's change in persona had been.

"And what about the next day?" Lanie once more prompted Kate to continue.

"Well I didn't see him for most of the morning, I don't think he got till the precinct till late afternoon and th.." She was cut off by Lanie who appeared to be in deep thought.

"Wait a minute..." Lanie was now starting to remember something herself.

"What?" Kate's instincts told her that whatever Lanie was about to remember might be the key.

"Well I met Javier for lunch that day and I'm sure he told me that Castle had been in the precinct that morning but then practically stormed out about 5 minutes later quoting personal business or something" Lanie was kicking herself for not having remembered that sooner.

"Come to think of it I remember Esposito saying he'd been there too, I noticed the coffee Castle had left on my desk after I was done interrogating Robert Lop...oh god!" The interrogation with Lopez came flooding back to her, the words she'd said 'I remember ever second of it'. Suddenly she was finding it very hard to breath as the pain in her chest grew stronger.

Lanie was full of concern as she saw her friends face turn white as a ghost.

"Whats wrong girl?" She leant forward placing her hand on Kate's shoulder to try and comfort her.

"He must have been in the observation room, he heard me!" Tears were now starting to flow down Kate's cheeks.

As worried as Lanie was for her friend, she was also very confused. "I don't understand, you were interrogating a suspect, what could he have heard during that to get him mad?"

"Lopez tried to tell me he didn't remember anything due to trauma, I wasn't having it so I told him he didn't get to play that card because I was shot and remembered every second of it!" Kate could barely speak, nor could she control the stream of water now running from her eyes as she sobbed into her hands.

"Sweetie, I know this is hard for you but I still don't understand, theres something else isn't there?" Lanie had never seen Kate in this state before, Kate had never really spoke to her about her shooting before so she didn't get why admitting she remembered it was having this effect on her. That was until Kate's revelation.

"When I was on the ground Castle told me he loved me" Her voice was so quiet and muffled by the sound of her sniffing back her tears that the sentence was barely audible.

Lanie was in complete shock at this, Castle had told Kate he loved her, Kate presumably had never told Castle she knew, and now Castle had found out that she'd known all along and not said anything, no wonder he was pissed. Lanie would stand by Kate and support her, but she could now understand why Castle was avoiding Kate, and couldn't help but wonder how hurt he must be over all this.

"No I never said anything" Kate clarified, while taking a deep breath before letting Lanie know the worst part.

"It gets worse, I didn't just not tell him that I remembered, I point blank lied to him a few times about it" The water works started up again as she thought about Castle and what her lies had done to him, to them.

"I've been so stupid, thats why he's pushed me away, he hates me for lying to him, its my fault!" Kate buried her face back into her arms on the counter, weeping into them once more. She only remembered crying this much back when she was mourning the loss of her mother.

Lanie took a few moments to collect her own thoughts, she'd found out a lot of new information over the last half hour and needed to make sense of it if she was going to help fix things between her two friends.

"Look girl, I don't think he hates you" Lanie wasn't just saying that to comfort Kate, but had actually come to a logical conclusion.

"What do you mean?" Kate raised her head and looked at Lanie, her eyes now puffed up and red from the tears.

"We'll he probably is mad at you for lying to him, which to be fair I'd say he's entitled to be for a little bit"

"How does that help?" Weather he hated her or was mad at her, surely that was the same thing wasn't it?

"What I mean is he might be mad at you, but I think he probably thinks the reason that you never told him you remembered is because he thinks you don't feel the same way about him" Lanie had hit the nail on the head, now she just needed to make sure Kate realized this.

"But I do feel the same way! I love him Lanie!" The second she admitted out loud how she felt about Castle it felt like a great weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Straight away she was feeling a little better just for having said it out loud for once.

"I know you love him, hell half the precinct knows, but the one person who doesn't know is Castle! You need to talk to him, you need to tell HIM!" Lane really emphasized that last word.

"But what if it's to late? What if he doesn't want to see me again?" Kate's mind began running through the worst case scenarios, what if Castle walked away from the precinct for good, away from her? She'd not just loose her partner and her friend, but so much more.

"Trust me it's not to late, but I wouldn't leave it any longer!" She tried to reassure Kate once more.

"I won't, I'll head over to see him now. I'm not going to loose him!" Kate's voice now seemed to have the confidence of her usual self back in it.

"Good, now freshen up, I'll phone a cab to take you over there" Lanie couldn't have been happier, by this time tomorrow her two friends would finally be together after far too many years of waiting. And if they weren't then she'd have to lock them in a room and bang their heads together until they came to their senses.

Kate got up and headed for the bathroom to freshen up, as she reached the door she spun and called back to Lanie.

"Hey Lanie"

"Yeah?" The M.E looked up from the phone she was punching the numbers for the cab company into.

"Thanks" Kate smiled toward Lanie, she couldn't find the words right now to tell Lanie just how grateful she was for her help and advice, she truly was her best friend.

"Glad I could help, now go get ready!" Lanie just waved her back to go and get ready. As Kate disappeared into the other room Lanie just chuckled to herself as she thought 'for two of the most intelligent and observant people I know, those two are complete idiots when it comes to each other'.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N - **Sorry for the long update time, this story though should be wrapped up in the next 1-2 chapters as I mentioned previously. I have also gone back to chapter 1 and corrected a few spelling/grammatical errors also. Also for anyone following my other fic Into The Woods, that should be getting the next chapter by the end of this week, I'm also going back and correcting a few spelling mistakes in previous chapters of that to. Feedback is always appreciated.

**Disclaime**r - I don't own Castle

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><p>For once the Castle loft had a very different atmosphere surrounding it, no longer did it emit the comforting warmth that usually radiated from its center, the bright and vibrant colours from furniture and pictures could no be seen, and perhaps most shocking of all there were no voices or laughter to be heard.<p>

Instead an eerie silence washed over the loft, only broken by the sound of the rain tapping lightly against the windows as it fell from the sky. First impressions would have suggested that either everyone had gone to sleep or the loft had been abandoned. Signs of life were certainly minimal as the pitch black darkness consumed every square inch of the loft, items and objects becoming mere shadows in its wake. The only thing that suggested human presence was a small aura of light coming from the direction of Rick's study.

The study itself housed a rather defeated looking writer who was slumped back in his chair with a glass of whisky on the rocks, a half empty bottle stood upon the desk itself ready to await its calling. The writers reddened eyes were focused on the monitor that was fixed to the wall, the monitor which contained the picture he'd been starring at for the last couple of hours, the picture of Kate Beckett.

After hearing Beckett's interrogation in the bombing case he had tried to tell himself that he could turn off his feelings for Beckett, he had tried to convince himself that he could manage to still work with her and put his feelings to one side. But who was he kidding? If he didn't still care about her then why had he been more torn up about Beckett's secret than he had been about seeing the charred bodies of the victims at the bomb site? Why had he tried to make Beckett jealous by hiring one of Martha's acting students to play as his girlfriend during the case they just had? And why did it pain him so much when he saw Beckett with that limey? And why was he still thinking about her and still trying to solve her mothers murder? Hell there was no hiding from it, he still loved her, even if she didn't feel the same way.

With those thoughts swirling in his mind the temptation for another drink to numb the pain was to strong to resist, he raised the glass in his right hand up and downed it in one, wincing as the strong liquid burnt its way down his throat. As he slammed the glass back down on his desk and reached for the bottle to pour another glass he gave a silent thought of thanks to Martha who had offered to take Alexis away for a few days to the Serenity health spa in order to give him some space. The last thing he wanted was for his mother and daughter to see him in his current pathetic state.

It only took his mind a few minutes before it was back on the subject of Beckett, and before he knew it his eyes were cast back once more to her picture on the screen, how he was so mesmerized by even just a picture of her was beyond him. At that moment a realization sunk in, he had been investigating Johanna Beckett's murder without telling Kate, he was keeping a secret from her just as she had from him. But then again in his mind he justified it as he was protecting Kate because he cared about her, loved her. And as far as he could make out she'd kept her secret because she didn't care about him, a fact that he still didn't know how he was going to cope with.

Letting out a sigh of self pity he turned away from the electronic murder board and spun the chair around so his back was to it, reasoning to himself that with the amount of alcohol he'd consumed it would be unlikely he'd make any progress in solving her case tonight. After what was probably another hour of starring aimlessly out the window watching the droplets of water run down the glass he closed his eyes and drifted off, completely unaware of the conversation that Kate had been having on the other side of the city, and about the fact that the detective was in a cab making her way across the city to see him.

The taxi ride over to Castle's seemed to take an eternity, Kate watched as the city flew past in a blur through the window which her head was resting on. The sound of the tires kicking up spray from the road was about the only audible sound she could hear, thankfully the driver didn't seem interested in engaging into a conversation either which meant she was left to the silence of her own thoughts. She kept trying to run the scene through in her head, just how the upcoming conversation might play out, what she would say and how Castle would react, but eventually time ran out and she was at her journeys end as the cab pulled up outside the entrance to Castle's building.

After paying the driver she made a swift exit dashing through the rain to the doors of the building, recognizing her from previous visits the doorman let her straight through, returning the slight nod she gave him as she passed by on her way toward the elevator. A minute or so later Kate found herself frozen in place outside Castle's front door pondering what to do, if she knocked Castle might just see her through the spyhole in the door and choose not to answer, he had been avoiding her after all. The other option was to use the spare key that he'd given her back when she'd stayed there at the time her apartment blew up a few years ago, an option that seemed more favorable as entering unannounced would leave Castle nowhere to run from her. Plus Lanie had already told her that she knew Alexis and Martha were out of town for a few days, so at least she wouldn't be intruding on them. Taking a deep breath she steadied her shaking hand, turned the key and slowly edged the door open.

Kate crept forward silently as she stepped into the loft softly closing the door behind her, standing just inside the door she nervously whispered out into the darkness "Castle?" her voice though didn't seem to carry much volume. When no response came she called out again "Castle?" this time a little louder but still her voice seemed unsure of itself.

With nothing but silence returning her call Kate decided to investigate and proceeded a little further into the loft, her eyes had adjusted to the lack of light and she was able to pick out the vague silhouettes of the kitchen counter and stools, sweeping her head through the living room she could see the outline of the sofa and coffee table, then finally toward Castle's study she could see a faint glow of light from its door. Thinking to herself she couldn't help but parallel the scene to a lighthouse standing as a beacon of hope in the darkness. Carefully she picked her path around the obstacles in the living room and headed for the light of the room which she assumed contained the writer.

As she got nearer the doorway she could see Rick asleep in his chair with his head tilted slightly back to one side, and though his eyes were closed Kate could still see just how worn down he was. Her gaze dropped to the empty glass and largely depleted bottle that rested on the desk, a sight which sent a surge of pain through Kate's heart as she thought to herself that he was hurting and in this state because of her lie that she didn't remember. She looked back up at his face and decided it was now or never, she needed to fix things and tell him how she really felt.

"Castle" Kate studied his face watching for any sign to suggest he would break from his sleep.

"Mmmm" Rick groaned upon hearing his name but his eyes remained closed.

"Rick, its Kate, please wake up" Kate could see he was gradually starting to come around from his slumber.

"Kaaate?" Rick's voice was rough and had a low tone to it as he repeated her name, as he said it his brain engaged and realized that there was someone in the room with him. Opening his eyes cautiously he saw the blurry outline of a familiar figure standing in his doorway, after blinking a couple of times the focus in his eyes came back and he realized that Kate Beckett was standing before him.

"Kate? Wha...? How di...? Kate?" Rick was having trouble processing the fact that Kate was in his study, so many questions raced through his mind but his mouth couldn't seem to find the words to ask them.

"I'm glad your awake, we really need to tal..." Kate trailed off as something caught her attention in the corner of her eye, there was a picture of her on the wall mounted monitor. When she first entered she'd been so focused on Rick that she hadn't noticed it, but now she had seen it she couldn't take her eyes away from it. Quite clearly in front of her in Rick Castle's study was a screen with pictures of her and her mother, it was a murder board for her mother! All thoughts disappeared from Kate's mind as she stood frozen in shock looking at the screen.

Rick scrunched his eyes trying to work out what was going on, first Kate appears in his loft unannounced and wakes him up, and now she stops mid sentence looking like she's seen a ghost. Rick turned to follow Kate's line of sight, his eyes widened immediately once he saw what she was looking at, hastily he stood up and hit the power switch on the monitor to shut it down. But it was to late, he knew she'd seen it and he knew he'd have to explain, letting out a breath he turned to her and mentally prepared for what was about to be a long night.

As the two partners stood with their gazes locked upon one another a crash of thunder roared from the sky as the rain pounded down even harder against the windows. A storm was certainly on its way, but it wasn't the one outside that Rick was worried about.


End file.
